I have lived in Sweden twice and have many friends there.  That single connection with a friend in Sweden opened up a HUGE door for me.  I had easy access to friends I had lost contact with 15+ years ago.  I was connecting with so many lost friends it was amazing to me.  I was able to easily keep in touch with friends I met while traveling in Antarctica.  My friend Richard visited me over the weekend and we went to Vancouver, BC to visit another friend that we met while in Antarctica.

Facebook facilitated the ease of connection for everyone.  Sure, we could have kept in touch via email but today social networking is so much easier.  I love being able to easily see what is happening to friends from 20 years ago.  I keep in touch with one of my nieces more than ever before.

Thank you Mark Zuckerberg, you have helped me re-connect with old friends.  I appreciate it.

At that point you could only order a router and card.  Your local Best Buy wasn’t carrying them yet.  I was giddy with excitement the day I received my router and the card for my work laptop.  I paid $200 for the router and $100 for the card but I didn’t care, I was going to have wireless internet!  I immediately hooked it up and tested it was working.  Of course, I had to test it out.  So, I went to firefox.com and started downloading multiple 20 meg files at the same time.  I then started wandering the house with the excitement of watching the files download wirelessly!  Of course back then the router and card were 802.11B, relatively slow compared to today’s standards.  It was just the sheer excitement of having wireless internet access in my house!

Yesterday a friend from Ireland arrived to visit me in Seattle.  By random happenstance, the travel company that booked my Antarctica trip connected Richard and I together as cabin mates for the trip.  After two years Richard was on a whistle-stop tour of the Western United States.  He decided to stop by Seattle overnight to see me.  This morning we took the Amtrak train from Seattle to Vancouver, BC just for a quick overnight trip to see another friend we met while on the Antarctica trip.

What does this all have to do with Wi-Fi?  Simple, we have Wi-Fi on the train right now.  Let’s think about that for a minute.  A mere 15 years ago I was excited by a cable modem that could download 1 meg per second download and the first generation of wireless routers.  Now, I am posting this on a train speeding towards Vancouver, BC.  If you have a coffee shop, you better damn well have Wi-Fi.  I see hotspots at Safeway, local restaurants, even a place where I get my oil changed.  There was Wi-Fi on our ship from Argentina to Antarctica. Now, they have Wi-Fi on Amtrak and many airplanes.

It truly is astounding for me thinking back when I was 9 years old and received an Atari 400 for Christmas  to where we are today.  I am envious of the children born today and the amazing jumps in technology they will see over their lifetime.  I can only hope we don’t go down the path towards a society of Idiocracy.

30. Pack Your Stain Stick

Keep your clothes, neat, tidy, clean and be prepared for anything. Also see rule # 14.

31. Check the Back Seat

Doesn’t really apply to Unemployedland, unless you live in a bad neighborhood…

32. Enjoy the Little Things

Like rules # 15 & 19 enjoy the little things in your life and celebrate your life with your friends and family.

33. Swiss Army Knife

I have one and will carry it…just in case…

That’s it for now.  Keep these rules in your back pocket and you will be able to survive Unemployedland.

26. A little Sun Screen Never Hurt Anybody

See rules # 15 & 19, if you are breaking things up a bit and enjoying the outdoors, then use a bit of sun screen. Imagine this; you are going to have a big job interview the next day. You decide to give yourself a break by going hiking. What happens you break this rule and get sunburned, complete with the raccoon eyes from your sunglasses. You don’t want anything to distract the interviewer except for your charm, whit and incredible intelligence. For heavens sake, use a little sun screen, it helps prevent skin cancer while preventing sunburn.

27. Incoming!

You were just told you are getting an interview for a big job. You had better be ready for any incoming opportunities and be able to pivot as needed.

28. Double-Knot Your Shoes

Make certain your shoe laces are tied. After all, you don’t want to fall on your face in front of the hiring manager and look like a fool.

29. The Buddy System

Do you know a friend, colleague or family member that is also unemployed? Team up with them. You can keep each other on track and motivated.

There will be more rules later.

21. Avoid Strip Clubs

First off, why would be considering going to a strip club while you are unemployed? Don’t you need to save money about now? This could also be in reference to avoiding posting any pictures, posts, tweets or status updates that you wouldn’t mind your mother and boss finding. If you insist upon going to a real strip club, bring paper dollar bills, bringing dollar coins is a pain.

22. When in Doubt Know Your Way Out

We discovered this rule when the main characters are in a supermarket in search of a beloved Twinkie. When you are going into a new place, always know your way out. This could obviously mean knowing where the exits are in the Starbuck you are frequently. In Unemployedland this means, know when you are ready to get out of the running for a job. If you aren’t positive if you really want this new job, or, if the salary isn’t enough, etc… know when you will get out and walk away ahead of time.

23. Zipplock

Maybe this could apply in Unemployedland by keeping a few odds and ends in a zipplock. You want to bring some snacks for in between meetings, stick them in a zipplock bag and head out the door!

24. Use Your Thumbs

We have them for a reason! Use them for…ummmm….whatever. 

25. Shoot First

No, not with a gun! Shoot first by getting your ammo together (resume, cover letters, etc…) and then FIRE!

There will be more rules later.

16. Opportunity Knocks

When that new job, contract, challenge comes along, you grab that opportunity with both hands and hold on tight. I don’t care if you have to ride it like a bronco, you grab it. Then when you are sure this is the job you want, see rule #10, open the door and walk inside. You will know this is the right job for you.

17. Don’t be a Hero

This rule was later crossed out in the movie and with good reason. Every now and then everyone has to be a hero. You could be a hero to your family by finding that new job. You could be a hero by HELPING someone find a new job, a new contracting gig, or close a deal.

18. Limber Up

See rules # 1 and 11, you need to keep physically and mentally limbered up. It’s a long road ahead in Unemployedland.

19. Break it Up

See rule # 15. Break up the monotony of doing the same thing each and every day. Try something new either for fun or a new idea for find that great new job.

20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint

Exactly what it says, while you are in Enemployedland you need to keep moving, see rules #1, 7 and 11. Then when you are at the end of the journey, you are getting offers for multiple jobs, then you need to sprint to the finish line.

There will be more rules later.

11. Use Your Foot

Why use your foot? Because you are going to have to keep moving both in Zombieland and Unemployedland, also see rule #1.

12. Bounty Paper Towel

In Unemploymentland this rule applies mean, if you make a mess clean it up and fast! A mess could be anything, in the traditional sense you could use Bounty to clean up your kitchen. Bounty could also refer to if you make an inter-personal mess. Piss someone off? You better clean it up and clean it up NOW. We need all of the friends we can get in Unemployedland.

13. Shake it Off

The opposite side of rule #12 is “Shake it Off”. Did someone makes you mad, slight you, don’t show up for a coffee meeting? Shake it off! Get your game face back on and get back to it!

14. Always Carry a Change of Underwear

In Unemployedland this should be, “Always carry a change of clothing”. I have been known to carry an extra tie, shirt, jacket, etc… just in case something happens to my clothes. You really don’t want to go into that interview with a mustard stain on your shirt.

15. Bowling Ball

Don’t forget to have fun every now and then. If you only look for a new job then you will really burn yourself out. Take the time for some fun with your family and friend. You will come back refreshed and rejuvenated.

There will be more rules later.

6. The “Skillet”

This refers to when a zombie is killed with a skillet. Now, how does this apply to “The Rules for Unemployedland”? Frankly I have no damn idea, but it’s a great scene in the movie!

7. Travel light

In Zombieland “Travel light” means both in the physical and emotional baggage. I’m a huge believer in traveling light. I limit my airline luggage to overhead only. Hell, I’ve traveled overseas, 3 continents for 3 months with just carryon luggage. How does this apply to Unemployedland? Keep yourself light in luggage, going to meetings, coffee, etc… I never take more than a bag that just barely fits my laptop. We have all seen someone coming into a meeting carrying a kitchen sink. That isn’t the first impression you want to give. Please remember, always travel light.
You also have to break part of this rule. You will need your friends, family, contacts, business associates to help you find your way out of Unemployedland.

8. Get a Kick Ass Partner

Maybe you already have a partner, which could be a husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, close relative, friend, etc… Have that trusted partner look over your resume, cover letters, thank you notes, etc… They will be indispensible for moral support, suggestions, ideas and that kick in the pants you need every now and then.

9. With your Bare Hands

You will find your next job with your bare hands. You, and only you, can pick up the phone and make those calls, write those emails and fill out those endless applications.

10. Don’t Swing Low

In Zombieland you can only kill a zombie by shooting, stabbing, cutting or hitting them with a skillet in the head. In Unemployedland “Don’t Swing Low” means, if possible, don’t take a job you will hate. Feel the perspective employer out, is their first offer just a first offer? Is there room to negotiate?

There will be more rules later.

Personally I think volunteering is a great idea. Think in terms of what you have a passion for and would be happy to do for free. Try volunteering to help your favorite political candidate or organizing an event for a museum. They always love and appreciate volunteers that have experience. I have volunteered to do event management for both a museum and various political organizations. In fact, they appreciated my help so much they doubled my pay! Oh, wait, $0.00 times 2 = $0.00, I guess the pay raise wasn’t that great.

What kind of a passion do you have? What things do you enjoy just for fun? Try to find different organizations you can help with, you can try political campaigns, museums, other non-profits, and small businesses. If you are interested in helping a small business, check out SCORE. SCORE can help put mentors together with small businesses.

Give it a try, it helps keep your work skills sharp, will let you meet new people and you could find it fun!

Zombieland is a guilty pleasure of mine. I’ve always liked post-zombie apocalypse movies, I don’t know why, I think they appeal to my inner 16 year old. When Zombieland came out I made my poor wife go with me…twice. While the entire world was going to hell, the main character survived by following 33 rules.

When I was looking for a new challenge the other day, it suddenly struck me how many of the rules for surviving Zombieland apply to the job hunt. There are 33 rules from Zombieland so let’s look at them over the next few weeks.  Without further ado, the first part of rules for surviving Unemployedland.

Zombieland rules

1. Cardio

While you may not have to run from ravenous zombies’ hell bent on eating your brain, you do have to keep moving. It can take a lot of strength and stamina to look for a new job. The seemingly endless coffees, networking events, applying for jobs, following up, they can all wear on you. You need to put yourself in training. Exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, will all help keep you healthy and have stamina in Unemployedland.

2. Double Tap

No you can’t shoot people, no matter what! I don’t care how frustrated you are! What you can do is reach out to someone and arrange coffee, lunch, etc… Then when you are done write a thank you note or thank you email to your contact. Always, always, always, write someone to thank the other person for their time.

3. Beware of Bathrooms

We all have biological needs. I wouldn’t worry too much about this rule. There is one golden rule, always wash your hands!

4. Wear Seat Belts

Enough said.

5. No Attachments

In Zombieland this means going solo, never allowing any emotional bonds. In Unemployedland it means, leave the attachments to your old jobs behind. Don’t hold onto, “I used to do X.” or “I always got paid Y.”. It’s a new world and new economic landscape. Leave the past behind and bring your experience to a new challenge. Be open to new ideas that might come your way.
I’ll add additional rules over the next month or two. If anyone has suggestions/additions/edits, please post a comment.